Fair warning… this is definitely “heavier” than our usual blog posts. It’s an earnest accounting of some history and current things going on with the business and it is posted here to be shared with anyone who cares to read, but it’s not about cookies or cupcakes. 
In today’s gospel reading (Episcopal lectionary), the disciples are riding out a terrible storm in a boat and Jesus walks across the water to them. Peter then attempts to walk on water to reach Christ rather than wait for Christ to reach him. I always feel a strong kinship with Peter, perhaps because he is, as my priest describes him, the ‘most human of all the disciples’. He challenges Jesus, he questions everything, he is stubborn and slow to understand, and yet he is well-intentioned and always an active participant- never a passive spectator.
Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” -from the book of Matthew
In which Peter requests and answers a call:
Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.”
I can relate with Peter. Muddy’s Bake Shop is and always has been a leap of faith. When I opened for business I did so with both a need to be called and the sure knowledge that God had beckoned me to step out onto the water. My faith was not in financial success of the business (in fact, I felt that there was a very strong possibility of failure), but rather that God intended this to be an undertaking through which I would learn and grow through risking everything and perhaps most importantly, learn to trust Him above all else including myself, even if it meant being broken in the process.
In which Peter walks on water:
So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus.
Miraculously, I walked on water. The business was instantly popular despite absolutely no advertising, very little staff, and a completely unprepared and inexperienced boss at the helm (me). Despite any number of obstacles, a complete lack of sleep, and being totally overwhelmed, I continued to walk on water and the business performed amazingly well… and God was still my North Star, the focus point I used to guide everything, the one who I was purposefully walking toward through the wind and on top of the waves.
In which Peter begins to sink:
But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”
After three years of walking on water I began to experience what we in our culture refer to as “burn out”. I began to feel increasingly overwhelmed with running a small, popular business. Scheduling, payroll, keeping customers happy, human resources, keeping an eye on the competition… these things became my focus and I was increasingly terrified by my ignorance and the possibility of failure. Just like the storm on the sea, these were not new issues. The “weather” didn’t change, but my focus did. All of a sudden fear swallows faith and Peter (and I) begin to sink.
In which Jesus takes a hand:
Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”
I ask for help and help is given. The storm still rages; there are still production problems, employee training, and growing pains to deal with and I am still a flawed and largely ignorant business-person… but I am reminded that these things are not the purpose, the reason, or the focus of this adventure. They are merely the ‘weather’ that faith exists within. Faith does not eliminate the every-day, it merely makes it possible for extraordinary things to happen despite those everyday conditions and conflicts.
The storm is still there and even when it quiets, there will be others. I will most likely falter again; like Peter, I can be slow to understand and stubbornly human in my actions. But I know that I will never be alone on the water and that when I lose my focus and begin to sink, all I have to do is reach out my hand and call for help. The business may still fail by most standards; one day we may cease to be profitable making it impossible to pay staff, purchase equipment, and remain solvent. I will certainly make mistakes and misjudgments as the steward of this business and those mistakes will have their price. But whether it “fails” or “succeeds” by most people’s standards, it will certainly have served its purpose in building an enormous amount of character and providing a constant source of learning for me and others. The only true failure possible is if I turn my back on God’s help and allow myself to drown in the storm.
Your words mirror my own experience and trust in God. Win, lose, or fail, it will be all for his glory. My prayers for you and your business. It is a walk in faith to operate a business in this economical enviroment in which we struggle. It is a witness to Him that we are not only still in business, but have grown, not necessarily in profits, but in faith and size of our operations. Hang in there, trust God, and put on the whole armour of God.
Mike
thank you for publishing this most personal reflection! Although it is personal, it resonates deeply for so very many! (God is so smart like that!) I, too, am self employed w/ a small, hardworking staff…your thoughts meant so much to me!I often spend my free moments thanking the good Lord above & all the angels for the incredible work & success we experience! Memphis senses & feels your great spirit @ Muddy’s & hence your success! Karma is amazing…you earned it, I did too..it is soooo darn nice to hear a very successful woman give credit to the Great Spirit for guidance, perseverance, conscience, & wisdom…among many other gifts! Merci beaucoups!
I am a missionary friend of one of your employees (Jarrod). I’m deeply encouraged by your post. My wife and I moved to Québec in January to start learning French to start planting churches in French speaking west Africa. We started our application process with the government of Québec (a visa-like process) in September of last year. Mine came in on time but my wife’s did not. We had to resend information twice. We came to the border without her info and bought a temporary pass to allow the process to continue and so we could start our studies.
The week before her temporary pass was to expire we got word that it was denied. We were faced with what would seem to be a big failure, having to quit our studies, and possibly drive back to Tennessee. All things we believed that God didn’t want to happen.
That Friday night I talked with one of our church’s elders and vented my frustrations. I then told him one of the things our language school does (a Bible based school), they have us memorize verses in French. He asked me what that weeks verse was. At the time I could remember it in French but I had no idea what it meant.
1 Pierre 5:7 et déchargez-vous sur lui de tous vos soucis, car lui-même prend soin de vous.
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxieties on Him because he cares for you.
Instant relief. That weekend we prayed with our church and the following Monday, two days before the deadline she was approved.
This is a long reply but I thought these words of Peter, the one with whom you are identifying with, would be encouraging.
I’m sure we will have to relearn those words at some point, but they will certainly come to mind a bit quicker!
-Ryan
Thank you for your post. I found it very encouraging. Some of your comments really resonated with me and I will hold onto them as I start my baking business in Canada. You are to be commended for what you have accomplished and for your steadfast faith.
Thank you for sharing your comments… it was very generous of you to let us in on your experiences. I am not a business owner, but a 61 year old retired grandmother of 3 beautiful children – two 9 year olds and a 3 year old. I just want to remind you that your business, your creativity and beautiful appreciation for the nostalgic times with your grandmother… all these pieces of your life have had wonderful ripple-effects for those of us making memories with our children and grandchildren. The bookshelf with children’s books and the adorable sitting areas, the fabulous music give us a setting for frosting-smeared little smiling faces having cupcakes with Nannie and PawPaw. Take heart in knowing you touch lives in ways that don’t show up on the accounting books or in your aching feet. God puts us where we’re supposed to be to show His love through the things we do. Thanks so much for hanging in there! And keep making that incredible pimento cheese!
Kat, thank you for this!!! What a great reflection. I needed this on this Monday morning too.
Thank you for your post! You are a blessing.
Thank you so much for sharing this! It brought tears to my eyes. My husband and I also have a small business that is struggling right now. We need to be constantly reminded that Jesus is right there holding out His hand to help us. We love Muddy’s so much that we are constantly coming up with ways to expand it to other areas of Memphis including an airstream trailer parked on the Shelby County Greenline! I also hate to tell you this, but you could charge more for your cupcakes and people would still buy them. They are that good!
Thanks all! Comments like these are such a great reminder of the incredible support networks in Memphis!!!
I’ve also gotten a few worried emails form folks who read this is “the business is struggling and I better get my dessert now because it won’t be here next week”…
I’m pleased to report that the business is going just as gang-busters as it has since Day 1. This was more of a personal story as a store owner and not indicative of a coming cake shortage!
Things aren’t any stormier now than they were then, I just needed to refocus!
Do you still have your screen saver that says, “Never forget this is Gods business….I’m just the manager?” I love it. I know God has been right with you and the shop from day one…it was pretty clear in so many ways including finding the spot for the shop. I know many lives have been touched in a variety of ways by you and by the shop and those in it…both customers and fellow workers and I know you have been touched by special people you have met there, too. I’ve met so many special people in the shop and feel lucky to be a part of it in my little way. I’m very proud of you and your spirit and your integrity and determination to do it…the right way in so many ways. I believe God has been using you for many years and has allowed you to weather many difficulties(loss of best friend in 5th grade, parents divorcing, being run over by a drunk driver… to name a few) and has honed you in His way and I rather like the current product. I have believed for some time that he had definite purpose for you…who knew it would be through a great little bake shop? I guess He did! I love you and I am proud of you. Mom
As a fellow small business owner this blog post means so much to me. It is just what I needed to read today! I love your last sentence, “The only true failure possible is if I turn my back on God’s help and allow myself to drown in the storm.” I have eaten your delicious treats and I sure appreciate Muddy’s Bakery.
Well said. God is so awesome! I brag about Muddy’s all the time and the thing at the top of my brag list is your faith and the fact you give God all the glory.
It’s hard being human. I don’t know anyone who strives as hard as you do to improve themselves everyday. You are an inspiration and I’m so glad that I had the opportunity to meet and work for you. May you have many more blessed years to come.
Muddy,
Your Faith will always be what sustains. Should you have accomplished nothing else in your endeavors with the bakery, today God led you to communicate for Him. You have reached hundreds, and probably will be thousands. That was probably His wish for your bakery all along. Yes, your good nature and as we all are guilty of, “learning experiences”, will always be there. Yours is God based, don’t loose that. It is obviously His will in your life.
I’ve always thought of our contributions as gifts from God, so lean on Him, He won’t let you down, and know that others around you are rooting for you.
“If God be for you , who can be against you.”
Harriet
Thanks for sharing this, for creating such a special place that is a ministry for you, and a haven for the rest of us.
Great thoughts. Our Lutheran service Sunday was called “Get Out of the Boat!”. You have to take chances and have blind faith. Hard to do, but it is true. We love Muddys and the special people that make it special.
Thanks for this posting. Muddy’s is definitely a peaceful place for me in a crazy life, especially this year. Now I can see why it is so special.