Muddy’s Journal

hurl!

Ok, so as a bakery owner I receive several trade publications. Keep in mind that these are geared toward the broad range of "bakery" businesses which include retail bakeries (Muddy's is a retail bakery), bread bakeries, wholesale bakeries, in-store bakeries (like Kroger, Costco, etc), and, judging from a lot of the articles, bakeries that should be required to use quotation marks around the word "bakery".

So anyhoo, I like to make a sport of finding the grossest things advertised or recommended in these publications and I thought "hey, my readership enjoyed being grossed out by Sandra Lee's Kwanzaa cake, I bet they'd like this too..." So here are 5 gross things I found advertised or recommended in a bakery trade magazine this month, in alphabetical order:

1. Bases/Mixes: Dough, Batters for Cake

Yes, a lot of bakeries actually just use cake batter from a tube or sack. Maybe I'm just weird, but I got into this business because I LIKE to make cake.

2. Bulking Agents

I'm not really certain what bulking agents are, but I'm picturing a powder that would turn mild mannered Bruce Banner into the Incredible Hulk.

3. Icings, Ready-to-Use

Just re-read my thoughts on the pre-made cake batter. Come on people, if you didn't want to make this stuff, why do you work in a bakery?

4. Marshmallow Powder

I'm sure this isn't the most terrible thing on this list, but for some reason the idea of dehydrated marshmallows is just kinda ick.

5. Mold Inhibitors

Oooh, just what everyone wants. To be able to sell really old stale items because customers can't see MOLD on them... sign me up. Ugh.

Yeah, that stuff should totally make you HURL!

Rest assured, we at Muddy's did not feel the need to whip out the credit card to make any of these highly questionable purchases! I'm pretty glad my life is as simple as flour, sugar, eggs, butter. :)